According to some psychotherapists, committed couples who mutually consent to watching pornographic videos together are more likely to have successful relationships for many reasons, one of which is, ““When both partners are equally open sexually and emotionally pornography can be an ‘exciting wonderful foreplay. Often, watching can stimulate ideas, themes, and scenarios that can elicit spontaneity and adventure for the couple,” said Dr. Frances Walfish, a child and family psychotherapist.

However, while this perspective may seem to justify porn and watching it together as a couple, there are many other positions that suggest otherwise. This article discusses five good reasons not to watch porn with your significant other.

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Porn Teaches the Brain to Get Aroused by Something Other Than Your Spouse

In an experiment conducted by Ivan Pavlov, a Russian physiologist well-known for his work in classical conditioning, Pavlov struck a bell before feeding dogs. As the bell was sounded in close association with the dogs’ meals, they eventually learned to associate the ringing of the bell with food. Eventually, the mere sound of the bell made the dogs salivate even without the food.

The same thing happens when people watch porn. Instead of connecting arousal with the person you are committed to, porn conditions your brain to get aroused with something other than your partner. As a result, arousal and release can only be achieved by fantasizing about something.

Porn Takes Out the Intimacy in “Making Love”

Arousal and pleasure centers in our brain should associate sexual intercourse with genuine intimacy. When watching porn, intimacy is absent and making love ceases to be about two people who are in a committed relationship. Eventually, a person who has been consistently watching porn will have difficulty feeling any intimacy during actual sex, because those arousal and pleasure centers have been accustomed to porn.

Porn Devalues Normal Sexual Intercourse

Sexual intercourse was originally designed to be an act of intimacy between two people who love and are committed to each other. It is not about achieving personal pleasure alone. Pleasure comes from feeling one with your partner. Porn, on the other hand, changes the way you look at sex and makes it all about excitement, causing you to constantly seek new ways to get that “high” instead of experiencing pleasure together with your partner.

Porn Makes It Difficult to Be Affectionate During Sex

Being affectionate is about being loving towards your partner. It is about tenderly giving and expressing affection. Porn presents sex as something impersonal. Oftentimes, sex is rushed and even forced. Instead of starting with foreplay, so you partner becomes aroused, sex is all about having what you want.

Porn Leads to Selfishness

Consequently, you become insensitive to your partner’s needs as you become focused on merely getting what you want right away. While this is usually seen in intercourse, this selfishness may also manifests in other areas of your relationship, where one would often demand for immediate gratification or would just be concentrating on what they want instead of considering their partner’s needs.